One thing about this journey is that it has definitely had a different “feel” than my first go around. I have the same wonderful IPs. I had the same appointments and scans. I’ve had the same maternal fetal medicine doctor. I will be delivering at the same hospital. But… none of it has quite been as exciting. Why?… because COVID-19 sucked all the fun out of the experience. L&R haven’t been allowed to attend any of the ultrasounds or appointments. In fact, they haven’t been able to come visit at all. Due to protocols, even my husband can’t attend any appointments. And, some doctors won’t allow facetime or video calls which leave L&R out of the process all together. The best part of surrogacy is watching the new parents get excited, but none of that has really gone as planned.
Around 30 weeks we had our call to create the “birth plan”. (You can read the blog about creating Eddie’s birth plan here.) Part of that was having to discuss and make decisions regarding new covid procedures. And if I thought Covid took all the fun out of being pregnant, it sucks the life out of delivery.
The number one best part of surrogacy, in my opinion, is the delivery. Watching two people who never thought they could have a child finally become parents is the most amazing and fulfilling experience ever! Due to Covid, we were initially told that I would only be allowed 1 person in the delivery room. Which meant I had to pick between my husband, the baby’s mother, or the baby’s father. Whaaat?!?! 2 out of 3 people were going to have to miss out on that experience?! Jeff and I discussed it and quickly agreed that L would be the person to attend the delivery. There was no way we were going to allow a mother to miss the delivery of her own child!
We later found out that since we were a surrogacy situation that TMH would allow one “support person” to be there for the baby. Woo hoo! We get another person! Which meant that L could attend the delivery as the Roo 2’s parent. But, then that meant 1 person would have to “sit it out”. Jeff and I quickly agreed again that R would be my personal “support person”. While Jeff would love to be part of the delivery experience, we both couldn’t fathom having a father miss the birth of his own child when we could make it possible.
So, Jeff is taking one for the team once again. He gets the cranky hormonal wife for 9 months. He gives the shots leading up to transfer. He has to pull the extra weight when his heavily pregnant wife “just can’t” do things. He gets the overly tired wife who snaps. And soon, he’ll get the post partum wife with stitches and mood swings. And now on top of having to put up with all the not so fun parts of surrogacy, he now has to miss the best part of surrogacy… the delivery. But, as I said, he and I both agree that as the biological parents L & R should come first. So, I appreciate him being a good sport as always.
We also found out that we would be allow no visitors during the hospital stay. Which means that Eddie won’t get to meet his sibling until after discharge and Jeff and the kids will have to wait too. It also meant that if we hadn’t already decided to let R come in as my support person, he wouldn’t even be able to meet his own baby for several days! Craziness. But, it served as more validation as to why we should make L & R the designated “support people”.
Another thing that will change due to Covid is the amount of time in the hospital. We were told that we would likely be in-and-out following delivery. TMH doesn’t want anybody there longer than necessary. While during my first 3 pregnancies I was required to stay for 2 full days and then discharged, due to the pandemic I will likely be discharged within the first 24 hours if I have no complications. L and Roo 2 will stay the usual time for observation.
So all that being said, just like the pregnancy, the delivery is sure to have a different “feel” to it due to delivering during a pandemic. But, at least there will be a healthy baby and happy parents which is all we can really hope for!
Stories from the Stork 